Category Archives: Health & fitness

Health & fitness

Where you live affects your personality.

By Natalie Jacewicz

Galway has one of the best food scenes in Ireland. It also hosts the World Oyster Opening Championships, where teams from around the world compete to shuck the most oysters in the quickest amount of time.

When people move across state lines, they usually think about what their new place will be like, their new neighbors, their new town — in short, all the other changes that come with a change of address. But what most people don’t consider is the way that the move will change them, too.

Studies show that character traits, like anxiety and extroversion, vary from one state to another. There’s not only a New York state of mind; there’s also a Montana mentality and an Idaho id. But what does that mean for someone who’s spent much of their life bopping from place to place (like, say, this writer, who’s spent chunks of her life in both New York and Tennessee)? Can we transport an intact personality from place to place, like a piece of furniture? Or does each new move add a fresh coat of paint?
To set the stakes, it helps to understand which personality traits are more prevalent in different parts of the country. So far, several studies have zeroed in on different aspects of how people approach interpersonal relationships; a paper in the Journal of Research in Personality’s February issue, for example, outlines state-based differences in attitudes about romantic relationships.
New Yorkers should brace themselves for the results: From a survey of more than 127,000 adults, the study authors found that citizens of the Northeast and mid-Atlantic are, on average, more anxious in their romantic relationships than West Coast dwellers.
Utah, meanwhile, has one of the least anxious and most relationship-inclined populaces in the country, despite a trend in other mountain states to be less interested than average in forming romantic relationships.
“We have these stereotypes about places, and it turns out that a lot of those are confirmed,” says lead author William Chopik, a psychologist at Michigan State University.
To a certain extent, other studies of character variations among states support this idea. Research has shown that Northeasterners and Southeasterners tend to be more neurotic than Westerners, for example, while people in the Southeast, Midwest, and Utah tend to be more agreeable than other Americans. (New York ranks as one of the most neurotic and least agreeable states.) Openness to new experiences, on the other hand, hopscotches across the country — New York, Colorado, Nevada, and all of the states along the West Coast rank highly in this quality.
But this doesn’t necessarily mean New Yorkers should pack their bags for California or Utah to become better adjusted: The degree of influence that place has on an individual can depend on what’s driving that place’s personality to begin with. Jason Rentfrow, a psychologist at the University of Cambridge, has reviewed three different potential factors that may, together or separately, drive state and regional variation: migration patterns, ecology, and social influence.
The migration-pattern explanation goes like this: Once a place gains a certain reputation — for example, as an enclave for artists or people of a particular religious tradition — others with similar inclinations move there themselves, thereby helping to cement that place’s character. And that character can stay somewhat consistent from generation to generation: To the extent personality traits are genetic, selective migration to a certain region means that its gene pool may reflect some personality traits more strongly that others. Where you move, in other words, may be a better reflection of who you already are than of who you will become.
An alternative explanation suggests that ecological influence plays an important role in shaping people. Depending on environment, “any kind of personality trait, at least in terms of how it plays out, is probably going to have certain costs and certain benefits,” says Mark Schaller, of the University of British Columbia. For example, in a series of studies, Schaller found extraversion to be less common in countries that have traditionally had a higher prevalence of infectious diseases. “If I’m extroverted, I’m going to be coming into contact with more strangers, and that makes me more likely to come into contact with disease,” he says. In these same countries, which are often close to the equator, societies are also more likely to stress conformity.
If ecology does play a strong role in personality, it follows that something as simple as weather could change someone. A pleasant spring can lead to improved moods and better memory, according to one study, while aggressive behavior (PDF) increases with temperature.
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But the most powerful influence on someone who moves may be good ol’ peer pressure. Cultural institutions and values span generations and inculcate newcomers through “social contagion,” and people tend to absorb practices and values of those around them. Schaller says social susceptibility may be one of the strongest forces in encouraging new residents to dial up some personality traits while toning down others. For example, a network of happy people can make a person happier; on the other hand, adults who move to new areas where they are in the ideological minority often feel isolated and become less able to take the perspective of others.
Educated guesses abound about how moving might change personality, but Chopik and Schaller, as well as most of the studies on the subject, highlight the need for more research. In the meantime, geographic transplants may have to do some research of their own. When does a Tennessean know New York has changed her? Maybe when she starts throwing elbows on a crowded subway car.

Via: Where you live 

People With This Condition Literally Feel What Others Are Feeling 

JOKER-DARIA VIA GETTY IMAGES

When you think of synesthesia, you probably think of someone who “hears” colors or “sees” sound.

But the brain’s unusual cross-wiring can take on some more surprising forms, too. People with mirror-touch synesthesia, for example, feel as if their own body is being touched whenever they see someone else being touched.

Mirror-touch synesthesia might sound a lot like empathy, which allows us to imagine ― and sometimes even have a physical reaction to ― what another person might be feeling. But the condition goes way beyond that.

Roughly 2 in 100 people have mirror-touch synesthesia, which occurs when the visual and tactile senses get mixed up, according to a study published in the March issue of the journal Cortex.

And here’s the kicker: Most people with the condition have always assumed their reactions were universal ― because how would they know otherwise?

“This reveals the wonderful variability in sensory experience that we as humans have,” Jared Medina, a psychologist at the University of Minnesota and the study’s lead author, said in a statement. “It’s easy to assume that my sensory experience is exactly the same as everyone else’s. However, people who feel what they view, or see letters as having colors, or other synesthetes show us how variable and unique sensory experience can be.”

It was almost as if they were a part of the movie, feeling touch, pain and other physical sensations that the characters were experiencing.Carrie DePasquale, study co-author

For the study, neuroscientists tested 2,351 students to see if they had the condition. The participants were asked to sit with their palms either face-up or face-down on a table while they were shown a series of videos featuring actors being touched on different parts of their hands. The students were then asked if they felt anything (and if so, where and how strongly). A second experiment tested their reaction times to confirm these claims.

Based on the results, 45 students were identified as having mirror-touch synesthesia. They felt sensations very similar to those of the person whose hands they saw in the films ― and when their hands were in the same position, they felt the sensation in the exact same place.

“It was almost as if they were a part of the movie, feeling touch, pain and other physical sensations that the characters were experiencing,” study co-author Carrie DePasquale, a Ph.D. candidate in neuroscience at the university, said in a statement.

For most, the sensation was related to their own hand position.

“If they saw a hand facing palm-up, they were more likely to experience a synesthetic perception if they were palms-up versus palms-down,” Medina said. “The brain is comparing the synesthete’s own body to what they see, and their experience is modulated based on this own-body other-body correspondence.”

Researchers know these synesthetes process tactile information in a manner different form others, but they aren’t yet sure how. Medina said it’s possible that somatosensory brain regions, which are normally activated when we see someone else being touched, are hyperactive in people with the condition.

“We all experience ‘vicarious tactile processing’ of some sort ― when we see someone being touched, our tactile systems are being activated as well,” he explained.

“When you and I see someone being touched, we typically don’t feel it as touch,” he added. “It is thought that mirror-touch synesthetes have an ‘overactive’ vicarious touch system, such that they actually experience viewed touch as sensation on their own body.”

Some experts have actually suggested that you can teach yourself synesthesia. But before you try to teach yourself to become a mirror-touch synesthete, be warned: You may not really want to feel it when you see someone else get slapped or hit on the head.

Via: People With This Condition

Is Coffee With Milk and Sugar Healthy?

Although the way you take your coffee tends to be non-negotiable, new research suggests that people who like theirs light or sweet don’t just end up drinking a bunch of empty calories, but may also end up eating worse than people who drink plain black coffee. The same goes for tea drinkers who add milk and sugar to the mix, but the effect doesn’t seem to be quite as extreme.

Unlike in previous studies where sweetened soda drinkers appeared to compensate for calories they drank by eating less overall, when researchers from University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign and University of California, San Diego, compared the diets of 19,400 coffee and teas drinkers for a study recently published in Public Health, they found that people tend to simply ignore the extra milk and sugar calories they slip into their drinks — no one’s eating less at lunch because they had a splash of creamer in their morning coffee.

Here’s what else researchers found:

Coffee Drinkers Add Way More Calories to Their Drinks

Compared to tea, coffee tends to be the biggest calorie bomb, since nearly 2 out of 3 coffee drinkers use caloric additives like sugar, milk, creamer — and let’s not talk about Frappuccinos and PSLs. Meanwhile, only 1 in 3 tea drinkers adds sugar, honey, milk, or some other kind of creamer.

You’re Also Eating Worse Than You Think

A packet of sugar has 11 calories, while a tablespoon of whole milk has 9 calories. While these calories do add up, light-and-sweet coffee drinkers in the study ended up consuming an average of 69 more calories per day than black coffee drinkers, while fans of sweetened and/or milky tea consumed an average or 43 extra calories per day compared to plain tea drinkers. Meaning: This isn’t just about the calories in your coffee cup, according to lead researcher Ruopeng An, PhD, an assistant professor of community health at University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign.

People who all but turn their daily drinks into dessert may actually eat worse overall: In the study, their diets contained more sugar, fat, and saturated fat than those who drank their tea or coffee black.

While the study didn’t look into why, it could have something to do with the muffin you buy when you’re picking up your latte or the cookie you can’t resist when you stop for a chai latte. It’s also possible that people who add sweet stuff to their daily drinks have less regard for nutrition, or that sweetened drinks cause a sugar high and resulting energy drop that invokes junk food cravings. But more research is needed.

So: Should You Switch to Tea?

If you must sweeten your drink or stir in milk, make it skim, for a low-calorie bit of calcium and protein without extra saturated fats. And, think about switching to tea, since people consumed less excess calories, sugar, and fat overall when they went that route.

Either way, know that whatever calories you add to your mug do count (Sorry!), especially if your drink of choice is a habit as opposed to a treat.

Via:  Coffee 

Fat Shaming Can Literally Break Your Heart 

When it comes to the way people stigmatize different body shapes and sizes, words can hurt more than just your feelings. New research suggests they may have real health consequences.

People who reported feeling diminished by negative stereotypes about their weight were three times more likely to have a heightened risk of diabetes, heart disease and stroke than people with similar weights and mental health who did not feel affected, according to a recent study published in the journal Obesity.

“Above and beyond the effects of weight, this internalization of weight bias is associated with poor health,” the study’s lead author, Rebecca Pearl, told The Huffington Post.

“There is this misconception that’s out there that a little bit of stigma might help to motivate people or … get people to change their health behaviors,” said Pearl, an assistant professor at the Center for Weight and Eating Disorders at the University of Pennsylvania’s Perelman School of Medicine. “That’s not the case.”

Fat shaming is bad for your health

Past studies suggest that individuals who feel shamed for their physical appearance or weight are at increased risk of depression, anxiety, body dissatisfaction and low self-esteem. Other research shows that people who are body-shamed tend to weigh more, have greater waist circumferences and a greater tendency to become obese over time ― and that people who face weight discrimination also face a higher risk of mortality over time.

This latest study is important, Pearl explained, because it suggests that fat shaming can affect health measures that are known to bring on diabetes, heart disease and stroke.

DRBIMAGES VIA GETTY IMAGES

The new study included 159 overweight or obese adults, ages 21 to 65, who had signed up for a larger trial to evaluate a weight-loss maintenance program. They rated how much they felt stigmatized by weight-related stereotypes ― a measure known as weight bias internalization ― and indicated how much they agreed with statements like “My weight is a major way that I judge my value as a person” or “I feel anxious about being overweight because of what people might think of me.”

Everyone in the study also underwent a medical exam that measured blood pressure, waist circumference, triglyceride levels, HDL cholesterol and glucose. People with unhealthy measures in any three of those areas were diagnosed with metabolic syndrome (the name for a group of conditions that raise your risk of heart disease, diabetes and stroke).

The data revealed that people who reported higher levels of weight bias internalization were three times more likely to have metabolic syndrome than people who reported low levels of weight bias internalization. People who felt the most stigmatized were also six times more likely to have high triglyceride levels.

Why it’s important to call out weight bias

When people agree with harmful stereotypes about their bodies, it can really shake their confidence and their ability to make healthy changes, Pearl said.

“Given all the messages of shame and blame around weight that are out there, it’s really hard to not internalize some of these messages,” she explained.

According to Pearl, health care providers need to be sensitive about these issues when they’re counseling patients. They should pay attention to whether patients call themselves lazy or criticize themselves because of their weight, she said ― and they should find ways of supporting their patients’ health behavior goals without criticizing them.

“Weight is a complex issue,” Pearl said. “It involves biological factors, environmental factors and things that do not involve personal characteristics at all. It’s important for people to remember that weight is not a reflection of personal character.”

Given all the messages of shame and blame around weight that are out there, it’s really hard to not internalize some of these messages.Rebecca Pearl, Center for Weight and Eating Disorders, University of Pennsylvania

Pearl encourages people who feel stigmatized because of their weight to remind themselves how they break these stereotypes ― in school, in their careers or in their personal lives.

Setting specific, achievable, concrete goals to improve health behaviors can also help people be more confident and ignore the negative stereotypes out there, she added.

And for the public, it’s important to call out weight bias or discrimination when they see it, Pearl said.

“It is not acceptable to shame others because of their weight,” she said. “It is important to understand that obesity is not the result of laziness or a lack of individual willpower.”

More diverse, longer studies will reveal more

Pearl emphasizes that her study was relatively small, so further research with with larger, more diverse groups is needed. The majority of participants in the study were African-American women, who are not often well-represented in obesity research.

The study authors note that certain race-related factors could have affected the results, though it’s not clear how. Longitudinal studies that follow individuals over time are also needed to show whether fat-shaming makes heart disease and stroke risk factors worse.

But even with all those caveats, this study adds even more evidence that weight stigma has negative implications for health, Pearl said.

Via: Fat Shaming 

20 Questions to Ask Before You Get Married 

About to say “I do”? Our friends at YourTango share the questions you should be able to answer honestly before you make it to the altar.

You *must* have these internal conversations before walking down the aisle.

Maybe you’ve been together a while and are considering taking a big step, or perhaps you just started seeing one another and aren’t sure if you should stay the course.

Whatever your situation, a check-in is never a bad thing. Read on for 20 tough questions to ask about your relationships before moving forward.

1. Is for better or worse making me better or worse?

Does your partner encourage you to be your best self, or does he or she get intimidated by any triumphs and feel more secure when you’re not putting your best foot forward?

2. Do we really accept one another?

There will always be things you want to change about the people in your life, but no one should be in a situation where they feel they aren’t allowed to be authentic and accepted as the unique, special (yet flawed) person they are.

3. Who am I?

How can you know if your partner is a good match if you have no idea who you are?

4. Am I happy to be in this relationship?

The idea of sharing a life together is not to find someone to complete you or make you happy. But let’s face it: being unhappy at home can seep into other areas of your life . . . and fast. If you’re always fighting or just generally not feeling great about your twosome, it doesn’t mean you have to bail out (counseling might be a good option) but marrying someone in the hope that it changes things is a bad, bad idea.

5. Am I feeling trapped?

Do you really want to be in this relationship the majority of the time or do you find yourself wishing for a way out? Do you stay because you’ve invested time or are you really invested in your mate?

6. What am I doing to hold us back?

Maybe you could be more attentive, more thoughtful, quicker to let things go, or the first to bring up going to counseling. Whatever it is, take this as your sign to step up.

7. Is this relationship balanced?

Do you feel you’re both on the same page in terms of compromise, care, support and sacrifice? Or is one of you doing most of the giving while the other just sits with their hand out?

8. Can we have fun together?

Have you ever seen two people sit across from one another in silence at brunch as though they are being forced to walk through their day together? Not. fun.

9. Can we have fun apart?

Co-dependency ain’t cute, y’all.

10. Why am I in this relationship?

Is it because you respect, love, trust, and value the person you are with? Or because you’re afraid of being alone, worried about finances, or have built a life you’re scared to leave?

11. Where is this going?

Living in the “now” is great, but eventually the partnership will need a plan or someone will begin to feel anxious.

12. Do I really trust my partner?

For some, the immediate response to this can be devastating. If you’re one of them, it’s time to ask why and how you can begin to build or rebuild trust. Without it, there’s no chance.

13. Am I with a good person?

Knowing what you know about your partner today, would you vouch for them if they were a friend?

14. Am I attracted to my partner?

Physical attraction is hardly the most important component in a relationship, but forcing yourself to be in a relationship with someone who you’re not attracted to — just because it’s comfortable or “perfect on paper” isn’t fair to anyone. You will feel resentful and they will feel rejected.

15. Am I a parent or a partner?

Taking care of someone you love is a great thing to do, but when you feel like you’re raising a boyfriend — or worse, a husband — things get a little complicated. You’ll resent his childish ways. Who wants to sleep with their mom?

16. Does my partner have my back?

Do you feel like you’re a part of a loyal team who stands up for one another, supports one another, and shows a united front (even when the other is not around)? Or, do you feel like you’re constantly being thrown under the bus by your mate?

17. Are we looking in the same direction?

Some couples avoid having the big talks (religion, marriage, babies) because they think that, somehow, these things will just “work themselves out.” By the time they realize they won’t, they’re in a complicated, painful situation that leaves one (or both) feeling a little bit duped.

18. Are we growing together?

Being a human being living on this earth, we all have a right to grow and develop, and create a full life for ourselves. Are you and your partner still indulging in your passions (individual and shared) and growing as individuals?

19. Am I still me?

Being in love with someone should not require changing our identity to fit someone else’s idea of who we should be, on any level.

20. What is my gut telling me?

You have intuition for a reason. Listen to yourself.

 

 

Via: 20 Questions to Ask 

Girls Start Doubting Their Own Brilliance As Young As 6, Researchers Say 

CREDIT: PHAITOONS VIA GETTY IMAGES
In one test, girls preferred to play a game for children who “try really, really hard” over one for people who were “really, really smart.”

Young girls are less likely to think they’re “really, really smart” compared to their male counterparts as early as the age of 6, according to a new study released Thursday. The paper, published in the journal Science, sheds new light on girls’ ability to defy stereotypes about fields traditionally dominated by men, particularly careers in math and the sciences, researchers say.

Lin Bian, a doctoral student at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign and a lead researcher behind the project, said the results show an urgent need to intervene in children’s education “as early as possible” before gendered notions about what girls and boys can accomplish set in.

Bian and her colleagues at New York University and Princeton devised a series of four tests ― each had a sample size ranging from 64 to 144 ― to measure a child’s perception of brilliance and gender. In order to speak about the notion in “a child-friendly way,” they used the phrase “really, really smart” to gauge how young children perceived intelligence.

One test involved a story with kids that featured a genderless, but bright, protagonist. Participants, aged 5, 6 and 7, where then asked to select one of four images of the character they thought they were hearing about, two of whom were male and two female. While the 5-year-old kids each thought their own gender was intelligent in equal measure, researchers found that by the time they turned 6, girls were less likely to think their own gender was the brilliant protagonist in the story than boys.

Another test asked children to play a game that was either for “really, really smart” people or one that was for children who “try really, really hard.” The study found girls were less interested in the “smart” game and had more of a preference toward the one associated with hard work.

While the authors didn’t investigate just why children develop these gendered notions about their own intelligence, they write that “the results suggest that children’s ideas about brilliance exhibit rapid changes over the period from ages 5 to 7.”

While initiatives have tried to buck the trend, women are still noticeably absent from STEM (science, technology, engineering and math) fields. Women make up just 29 percent of the workforce in those sectors, according to the National Science Foundation, and some fields, like electrical and mechanical engineering, only have women in about 10 percent of roles.

The study’s results show an urgent need to help young girls develop broader interests early on in the education system, according to Bian. Novel approaches could include a focus on hard work to appeal to young girls, who were more interested in the game featuring that ability in one of the study’s tests, she said.

“Certainly we need to do more,” she said. “Given what we’ve found, we need to intervene as early as possible; we can’t wait for them to reach adulthood.”

 

 

 

 

Via: Girls Start Doubting Their Own Brilliance As Young As 6, Researchers Say 

13 Habits Of Super Persuasive People 

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Whether you’re convincing your boss to fund your project or your preschooler to put his shoes on, persuasion is a skill that’s instrumental to your success in life.

Persuasive people have an uncanny ability to get you leaning toward their way of thinking. Their secret weapon is likeability. They get you to like more than their ideas; they get you to like them.

Too many people succumb to the mistaken belief that being likeable comes from natural, unteachable traits that belong only to a lucky few—the good looking, the fiercely social, and the incredibly talented. It’s easy to fall prey to this misconception. In reality, being likeable is under your control, and it’s a matter of emotional intelligence (EQ).

TalentSmart research data from more than a million people shows that people who possess these skills aren’t just highly likeable, they outperform those who don’t by a large margin.

We did some digging to uncover the key behaviors that emotionally intelligent people engage in that make them so persuasive. Here are the tricks of the trade that exceptionally persuasive people use to their advantage:

1. They’re pleasers. Persuasive people never win the battle only to lose the war. They know how and when to stand their ground, and yet they are constantly making sacrifices that help their cause. They are always giving in, giving ground, and doing things for other people that make them happy. Persuasive people do this because they know in the long run this wins people over. They know it’s better to be successful than it is to be “right.”

2. They aren’t pushy.
Persuasive people establish their ideas assertively and confidently, without being aggressive or pushy. Pushy people are a huge turn off. The in-your-face approach starts the recipient backpedaling, and before long, they’re running for the hills. Persuasive people don’t ask for much, and they don’t argue vehemently for their position because they know that subtlety is what wins people over in the long run. If you tend to come across as too aggressive, focus on being confident but calm. Don’t be impatient and overly persistent. Know that if your idea is really a good one, people will catch on if you give them time. If you don’t, they won’t catch on at all.

3. They aren’t mousy, either.
On the other hand, presenting your ideas as questions or as though they need approval makes them seem flawed and unconvincing. If you tend to be shy, focus on presenting your ideas as statements and interesting facts for the other party to mull over. Also, remove qualifiers from your speech. When you are trying to be persuasive, there is no room for “I think” or “It is possible that.”

4. They know their audience.
Persuasive people know their audience inside and out, and they use this knowledge to speak their audience’s language. Whether it’s toning down your assertiveness when talking to someone who is shy or cranking it up for the aggressive, high-energy type, everyone is different, and catching on to these subtleties goes a long way toward getting them to hear your point of view.

5. They paint a picture.
Research shows that people are far more likely to be persuaded by something that has visuals that bring it to life. Persuasive people capitalize on this by using powerful visual imagery. When actual images aren’t available or appropriate, these people tell vivid stories that breathe life into their ideas. Good stories create images in the mind of the recipients that are easy to relate to and hard to forget.

6. They use positive body language.
Becoming cognizant of your gestures, expressions, and tone of voice (and making certain they’re positive) will engage people and open them up to your arguments. Using an enthusiastic tone, uncrossing your arms, maintaining eye contact, and leaning towards the person who’s speaking are all forms of positive body language that persuasive people use to draw others in. Positive body language will engage your audience and convince them that what you’re saying is valid. When it comes to persuasion, how you say something can be more important than what you say.

7. They smile. People naturally (and unconsciously) mirror the body language of the person they’re talking to. If you want people to like you and believe in you, smile at them during a conversation, and they will unconsciously return the favor and feel good as a result. Persuasive people smile a lot because they have genuine enthusiasm for their ideas. This has a contagious effect on everyone they encounter.

8. They acknowledge your point of view. An extremely powerful tactic of persuasion is to concede the point. Admit that your argument is not perfect. This shows that you are open minded and willing to make adjustments, instead of stubbornly sticking to your cause. You want your audience to know that you have their best interests at heart. Try using statements such as, “I see where you are coming from,” and “That makes a lot of sense.” This shows that you are actively listening to what they are saying, and you won’t just force your ideas upon them. Persuasive people allow others to be entitled to their opinions and they treat these opinions as valid. They do this because it shows respect, which makes the other person more likely to consider their point of view.

9. They ask good questions.
The biggest mistake people make when it comes to listening is failing to hear what’s being said because they are focusing on what they’re going to say next or how what the other person is saying is going to affect them. The words come through loud and clear, but the meaning is lost. A simple way to avoid this is to ask a lot of questions. People like to know you’re listening, and something as simple as a clarification question shows not only that you are listening but also that you care about what they’re saying. You’ll be surprised how much respect and appreciation you gain just by asking questions.

10. They use your name.
Your name is an essential part of your identity, and it feels terrific when people use it. Persuasive people make certain they use others’ names every time they see them. You shouldn’t just use someone’s name only when you greet him or her. Research shows that people feel validated when the person they’re speaking with refers to them by name over the course of a conversation.

11. They form connections.
People are much more likely to accept what you have to say once they have a sense of what kind of person you are. In a negotiation study, Stanford students were asked to reach agreement in class. Without instruction of any kind, 55% of the students successfully reached agreement. However, when students were instructed to introduce themselves and share their background before attempting to reach agreement, 90% of the students did so successfully. The key here is to avoid getting too caught up in the back and forth of the negotiation. The person you are speaking with is a person, not an opponent or a target. No matter how compelling your argument, if you fail to connect on a personal level, he or she will doubt everything you say.

12. They are genuine.
Being genuine and honest is essential to being persuasive. No one likes a fake. People gravitate toward those who are genuine because they know they can trust them. It’s difficult to believe someone when you don’t know who they really are and how they really feel. Persuasive people know who they are. They are confident enough to be comfortable in their own skin. By concentrating on what drives you and makes you happy as an individual, you become a much more interesting and persuasive person than if you attempt to win people over by trying to be the person they want you to be.

13. They know when to pull back.
Urgency is a direct threat to persuasion, so tread lightly. When you try to force people to agree instantly, studies show that they are actually more likely to stand by their original opinion. Your impatience causes them to counter your arguments in favor of their own. If your position is strong, you shouldn’t be afraid to back off and give it time to sink in. Good ideas are often difficult to process instantly, and a bit of time can go a long way.

Bringing It All Together

Persuasive people are adept at reading and responding to other people. They rely heavily on emotional intelligence (EQ) to bring people to their way of thinking. With 90% of top performers high in emotional intelligence, it’s no wonder that persuasive people rely on this skill to get ahead. Add these skills to your repertoire, and you’re on your way to joining this exclusive group.

What other habits set persuasive people apart? Please share your insights in the comments section below, as I learn just as much from you as you do from me.

 

 

 

Via: 13 Habits Of Super Persuasive People